i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
