also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
