my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Don't EVER smell your tampon
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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