As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
