i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
