I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Small penises have feelings too.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
