Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Randomize
