i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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