It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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