make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize