I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
