Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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