Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
