HIV tests are more positive than that guy
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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