PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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