Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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