somebody snuck up and got me drunk
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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