You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
