I bet he comes in French.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
