The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Rumble strips road head = magical
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
