i barfeds in our rink
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Randomize
