Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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