And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize