I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
