What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
