So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
