i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
