sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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