Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
