She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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