? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize