I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
