I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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