he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
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