8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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