There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
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