I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
