well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
