I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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