dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
