Swine flu. Run for my life!
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
