im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Randomize
