i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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