I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
