She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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