You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
