everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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