you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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