what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
