but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
