I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
