my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize