Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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