the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
