Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I lost the right to judge tonight
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
