Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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