Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
