Just cropdusted the office
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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