ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
jump out the window naked night went bad
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
