my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Randomize
