dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
