hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
