Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Randomize
